1. Avoid Being Too Hard on Yourself
Perspective matters, particularly when figuring out how to cope with divorce. If you are feeling either shame or guilt about the ending of your marriage, keep in mind that it takes 2 people to be in a relationship as well as 2 to end one.
Shame and guilt are common feelings that may arise during the stages of divorce. Forgiving yourself, however, can help you let go of any guilt or remorse that you might be harboring. It can be an effective way for you to move on with your life.
No matter who did or said what during the marriage, it is important to figure out how to get through your divorce emotionally, or you will be unable to move on from it. Forgive yourself. Give yourself the space and time you need, so that you can start the next chapter of your life.
A divorce may trigger feelings of uncertainty and failure, which can affect your self-esteem. Therapy can give you new ways to see your value.
2. Find a Support System
If you have gone through divorce, you probably know that getting through it is taxing, both spiritually and emotionally. Lean on your family and friends, both old and new, to help you get through the toughest times.
The secret to coping with divorce is finding a support system. It might feel challenging at first to try spending time with others, but you will be better off for it. So, reach out to your old friends and make plans. Alternatively, find new friends to spend time and connect with. Support groups are a great place to connect with others that understand exactly what you are going through.
3. Make Time for Self-Care
Self-care is always important, but it is even more necessary when you are going through a divorce. Taking time to do the things you love, even if that means that you do nothing, has the potential to make a huge difference.
One of the best aspects of self-care is that it can be anything you want it to be. From going for a walk, treating yourself to a little pampering or a massage, to getting out for an afternoon drive, to meeting friends for coffee, to making time for working out, doing something for yourself is particularly important when trying to figure out how to deal with divorce. Making time to take care of yourself can be physically and emotionally refreshing.
4. Seek Divorce Counseling
You might feel like you are handling he divorce the best way possible, but there may be certain times when you feel angry, sad, resentful, or have many other emotions that might not be beneficial to your mental health and well-being. This could be the time to consider getting some help from outside.
Seeking divorce therapy in Chicago can help you find alternative ways to navigate the process. Therapists will help you find new outlooks on life and identify and break unhealthy thought patterns. The right therapist will also help you learn how to deal with the divorce with newfound wisdom and grace.
Divorce counseling can also be beneficial for those not involved directly with the divorce but are still affected, such as the children. You may want to seek divorce counseling for your child to help them cope too.
5. Discover New Hobbies and Interests
If you are looking for new ideas about how to handle the divorce, it can be helpful to keep yourself busy. You may find that the more downtime you have, the more depressed you start to feel.
Now is the right time to branch out and start discovering new things that interest you and will occupy your time. Hobbies can be an excellent way to fill your days. They will prevent you from dwelling on the changes in your world.
Have you ever considered taking a ceramics class? Dreamed of starting gardening? Would you like to learn how to brew beer at home? Have you ever considered tackling a home project? Ever toyed with the idea of marathon training? Here is your opportunity.
6. Avoid Conflict with Your Spouse or Former Spouse
It might sound like a no-brainer, but you just might be surprised to learn how hard it is for old habits to die. While it might be difficult, especially when divorcing a narcissist, remind yourself that conflict is unlikely to do either of you any good at this point. Just remember to walk away when you need to, take deep breaths, and never allow your ex to create more drama in your life.
If you are having a difficult time breaking your old, destructive habits, focus on the things that will teach you how to cope with the divorce – meditating, journaling, and other relaxation techniques are all excellent ways to train yourself how to react to difficult situations with a new behavior pattern.
7. Positive Thinking
It might sound like a cliché, but the power of thinking positively is exactly what it says … powerful. It might be challenging in the beginning, particularly if you are struggling with divorce depression. With practice, however, it is possible to train the brain to start seeing the positive side of things and that will help you adjust to your new life better than just about anything else.
Keep in mind that if children are involved, it will be a particularly important part of the equation.